What motivates you?
It exists various types of motivation. Let’s explore the intrinsic one. You do things for yourself, you are the only one involved in giving yourself a reward. The extrinsic motivation involves an other person. It can be a member of your family, for instance, a brillant student will get a high certification to please his parents.
How about positive motivation. You want to earn big money because your dreams are big, and your desire is to live in a large house, and travel to beautiful places during holidays. How about negative? You are scared to be poor, so you go to work and save up to make you feel safer. An other one: You want to lose weight not to look fat wearing bikini. So you goal is not to be fit and healthy and attractive, instead you are escaping a fear.
Finally, you work hard because the salary is attractive, and it is clear that without this salary, you would stay in bed in the morning. Others, get up every morning to go to work because they love it, and they don’t need to lie to themselves to know they love what they do.
WHEN the change occurs, you find steps that will take you there:
Pre-contemplation: Unaware of problem
Contemplation: Aware of problem and desire to change
Preparation: Intends to take action
Action: Practices the desired behaviour
Maintenance: Work to sustain the behaviour change
That’s great, thanks for saying but how will this help me? Ask yourself the question: Why did you go on holidays for the last time? Was it to escape your routine, your job, your boss, the noise, the pollution and the stress? Or did you travel to discover a new culture, a new experience, tried things for the first time and brought back memories for life? By answering it you will know if you have more positive or negative motivation. How about the intrinsic? Well, look back in your life and think about what you achieved. Was it to please society? family? friends? of was it an isolated journey as you were the only witness. This will give you an indication of: A. I need a coach to hold me accountable every single day to get me out of bed. B. I need a coach to give me the tools and let me work by myself. Finally, the steps will be a good indication of where in your life you have mostly failed. So you know that when you reach to that step, you gotta work harder not to let yourself down.
Finally, keep learning and analysing yourself by doing the “four tendencies test”. The more you learn about yourself and the stronger you get to step up in your life and make it unique. Who wants to be average right?
1st TOOL: Chock method
Our client “Emma” has issues loving Nutella. As we know this product may present of a bit of a health risk when consumed in high quantities. As we know, also, many people are loving it and just cannot give up on it. Here is how we process. We take “Emma” to the supermarket on the Friday evening and we go to her favorite alley, where the Nutella stands. Emma would eat one entire pot of Nutella a day, specially in the evening. Let’s fill the trolley with 10 pots of Nutella.
-“Emma, you gotta eat this before Sunday night. I count on you. And just in case, let me add an other 5 pots. We never know” I said
-“I think this is enough, I think there is too much. I cannot eat so much Nutella during the weekend” Says Emma.
And we finally made her say that there is too much, until now SHE was eating too much of it. We reverse the situation. Do this with a smoker, and alcoholic, it can be surprising. You could think Emma would get sick and would never eat it again afterwards.
2nd TOOL: Know your source of motivation
Know what motivates you / inspire you for what you do in your life: professional, familial, personal, charity, socially. Find what is the link that is present in all fields of your life.
What inspires you to take action. It could be in the following list. Figure it out, and use it to set up your next goal. Let’s be clear, the more you know yourself, the more efficient you may become. When you buy a new TV you also receive a manual. Well, we were not given any manual so you gotta write your own to use all the options and capacity that you were designed with. So what is your fuel in the following list?
Love and acceptation
Build something that you can do by yourself with external help
Make a difference in the world
Pain is awareness sent you by the universe, God, intuition, your 6th sense, call it as you wish.
Find out what is your dream. For this you have to be honest to yourself. I mean, don’t dream small. Don’t come up with: “I am not broke, I am not sick, I have a job and a place to live, it could be worse”.
Observe yourself as a witness, without judging, and learn from this beautiful person that you are.
TIP OF THE DAY – WHEN YOU SAY: “I am going to lose weight” – look at what it takes to lose weight, and rather say “I am going to exercise everyday for the rest of my life” OR “I am going to eat healthy every single day no matter what”.